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 MTV VMAs spread the love around curlio  
 2006-09-01 00:45:58       
Television The 2006 MTV Video Music Awards spread the award love around this year, with the top winner taking only 2 awards. Some smaller, more unexpected artists ran off with a few of the awards as well. James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" took home two awards, and Gnarls Barkley took home two awards as well for "Crazy." The rest of the awards were just nicely spread around.

Of course it wouldn't be a live show if there weren't issues! This year, as usual, sound seemed to be a problem. For most of the show the bands were just screwed as the mics were turned too low and the instruments were turned too high. Eventually they worked out the issues but not before quite a few bands sounded terrible. The rappers all sounded good though, as they don't have that whole instrument problem.

Jay Z opened the show announcing the 2006 MTV Video Music Awards on top of some building high above New York City. I don't know my NYC buildings. Then we went inside for the opening performance by Justin Timberlake. He came out in a nice suit, dancing all by himself. He sang first with his high falsetto, before breaking into the massive hit "Sexyback." Timbaland came out to perform that with him, complete with the bleep in the middle. They tried a sing-along at the end that didn't really work out. Either the audience didn't react of they just couldn't be heard.

Then we saw Justin backstage in a robe, telling host Jack Black to hurry up, as the "who's on" credit is about over. They are talking, when they are interrupted by two suits who tell Jack it's time. Jack, in his moon suit, gets his instructions, and tells them that there is no plan B. The announcer "bashes" the past terrible hosts like Chris Rock and Ben Stiller, while Jack comes out and catches on fire. He rips off his moon suit, then sings some about how awesome the show will be. He starts to announce the Godfather of Soul, but gets interrupted and then announces the Godfather of Daytime TV, Montel Williams.

Then we had a short performance by the Raconteurs featuring Lou Reed, and OMG did they SUCK bigtime. It was loud and didn't really sound that good, the sound was just off. Back to Jack who says they will be there all night.

Jack then announces someone who has been away for awhile. Then he reads part of the lines of the next guest out, Lil' Kim. Kim comes out in an orange jumpsuit with police escort. They rip off her jumpsuit to reveal a typical Kim outfit. She thanks everyone for sticking by her, then announces the winner of the Best Male Video, James Blunt. James thanks the music industry in America for welcoming him, and naturally the fans. He tells the audience he will race them to the bar.

Next up was Andre and Ciara to present the Best Hip Hop Video to winners the Black Eyed Peas. Will.I.Am thanks everyone, and tells everyone to go watch Outkast's Idlewild, as they need to support artists doing new things with music. The Rock then introduced a performance by Shakira and Wyclef Jean, "Hips Don't Lie." There's an echo from the theatre that you can hear, and it throws off the music for me. Visually it was very lovely to watch (I'm a straight female who is not afraid to announce that Shakira is darn sexy). But vocally it could have been better.

Before the next commercial, we were subjected to a two part torture. First the cast of Jackass 2 were trying to get people to vote. Naturally there was a naked midget and electrocution involved. The second part of the torture was another musical interlude by The Raconteurs, who really and truly suck.

50 Cent and LL Cool J come out to announce the Best Female Video Award. LL says it's nice to have the VMAs back in NYC again. Then they announce the winner is Kelly Clarkson's "Because of You" but she isn't there to accept. Then Lil' Jon and E40 come out to announce the next performance, but Lil' Jon's music doesn't stop playing the whole time they are talking. Jon is already hard to understand, and with the music it was even harder. I manage to get the idea that they are introducing Ludacris. Ludacris performs with Pharrell Williams. The Pussycat Dolls come out from under the stage near the end of the performance.

Before the commercial, we were not tortured by the Raconteurs. Instead there was this stupid little skit featuring someone named Sarah Silverman. She was going on about how cool it was backstage and how many people she saw. She said that Lance Bass hit on her, then was told by someone off camera that he is gay. Then she goes on about how weird that it, then finally how it totally makes sense because space travel is gay. I'm starting to wonder if I'm too old to watch the VMAs anymore!

I spoke too soon about not being tortured by the Raconteurs, they were up after the commercial. Then Jack Black came up, this time Kyle Gass, his Tenacious D partner, came out dressed in a moonman suit too. He wanted to know why Jack was hosting along, Jack told Kyle he's famous enough by himself. Jack then introduced Jessica Simpson who walked out in a dress so small you could totally see her butt hanging out. Jessica had some trouble talking, but managed to croak out that she watched her idols win the Best Dance Video over the years and wanted to win herself. She couldn't however because she says she's a white girls who can't dance but only push her tush. The winner of the Best Dance Video went to the Pussycat Dolls and Snoop Dogg for Buttons. They just kept talking and talking and talking. I didn't think they would ever shut up.

Then Jack introduced Chris Brown, telling the audience to give him a warm hormonal shriek. Chris introduces OK GO, as they were performing their video live. Their video was downloaded millions of times on the internet and this was apparently their first shot at doing it live. I thought it was wildly entertaining. It was cool.

Snowboarder Shawn White introduced a clip by the Jackass guys again, saying he wanted to do stuff like that but his mom thought it was too dangerous. The Jackass guys did something with Steve O's tongue and a lobster (crab?) claw. It looked painful and stupid, which basically describes the whole Jackass thing. Next up was Jack Black who introduced Paris Hilton, who introduced the All American Rejects. They played "Move Along" and again the music is still off. The mics are way too low making vocals hard to hear and the music is too loud. For crappy sound quality it was a good performance though.

Then Nick Lachey and Nicole Richie went on about how awesome pop music is before giving the Best Pop Video Award to Pink for her Stupid Girl video. Pink acted all 'cutesy' and stuff before breaking that off to do her thanks. Then she got all cutesy again as she "broke" her moonman.

Then we got more crap from the Raconteurs before Snoop Dogg came out to give away the Best Rap Video. He said he feels like an "old g" with all the young rappers. The winner was Chamillionaire with "Ridin' Dirty." Chamillionaire was talking about an interview he was set to give talking about racial profiling but it was cancelled. This award can't be cancelled.

As sirens went off, Beyonce was lowered from the ceiling to the floor as she sang "Ring the Alarm." She wore a trenchcoat for most of it, doing the standard Beyonce dancing. Near the end she took off the trenchcoat, no doubt making many men happy.

There was another stupid clip from Sarah Silverman, which made me long for the Raconteurs to perform over top of a clip by the Jackass Guys. This was followed by a short announcement of three awards that apparently don't matter as much as the rest. Diddy came out to plug some of his friends, followed by an introduction of another one of his friends, TI who would perform a couple of his hits. The rappers, and popsters are sounding better than the live instrument acts as they don't have to deal with that "low-mic-high-instrument" sound difficulty.

Jared Leto and Amy Lee give the best Group Video Award to All American Rejects for "Move Along" but only after Jared in typical guy fashion goes on about how sex is better with a group than solo (supposedly linking that to the Best Group Video Award). Then it was time for more torture from the Raconteurs - wait, hold everything. I actually LIKE this song! That shocks me a smidge!

Rihanna and Some Dude give the Ringtone of the Year Award to Fort Minor for their everpresent song "Where'd You Go." He had a huge list of people to thank, so I just sort of sat back and went into zombie mode for a few minutes until Fall Out Boy came out. They introduced a performance by Panic! At the Disco. They performed that terribly overplayed "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" song. It was a good performance, I think MTV might have worked out their sound issues finally. Not bad with only an hour left to go! Jack Black introduced Fergie. Fergie brought out Abigail Breslin, from Little Miss Sunshine. They gave the Best New Artist Award to Avenged Sevenfold who are the first winners to get cut off by MTV for the night. Do they get extra points for that? Oh, I thought it was cool that they thanked the fans first. I think they were the first ones to do that. Extra points for that one too.

After some more Raconteurs, Jack Black says that he and Jack White are like two sides of the same coin and they should start a band. White didn't seem to be too into that. Then we had a clip featuring Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. Britney says that she needs to look her best as she's sitting in front of the mirror. She yells at K-Fed, as he didn't tell her they were on, then wants to know what he did with the baby. We see a shot of a small bald thing in a small car with the license plate Sean P. They then introduce the winner for the Best R&B Award, Beyonce and Slim Thug. Beyonce didn't expect it, and it was a very short thank you.

Kanye West came out to present the Video Vanguard Award to Hype Williams, who has directed virtually all Hip Hop Videos for the last 10 years or so. Tribal dancers filled the aisles to lead Busta Rhymes out to perform. Then Missy Elliott and Timbaland came out and performed. Finally Hype came out to accept his award, saying he had a lot of people to thank. Honestly his thanks was shorter than some of the other award winners. And they usually give more time for the Video Vanguard Award!

Sarah Silverman then came out to tell Paris Hilton that she is too fat and needs to lose weight. She told Paris she is bigger than the "fat" olsen twin. She can't even seen the bones in Paris' back. The first time she heard "Stars are Blind" she thought it was a fat person singing. She tells Paris that she is a genuine person, as proven by the fact that she is going on Letterman during sweeps week to make up with Nicole Richie.

Christina Aguilera performed "Hurt" and it was rather nice. It was a lovely song and a lovely performance. She had a very nice red dress on, and a full orchestra rose up behind her. I'd have to say it was one of the best performances of the night. Lou Reed and Pink then came out to present the Best Rock Video. Lou pleaded for MTV to play more music. A.F.I. won for "Miss Murder." That lead singer chick, the one that talked first, she's kinda cute. I get the feeling her lashes might be a little fake though. She really should try dressing more like a girl. Leather mini-skirts are acceptable for rocker chicks. They thanked everyone, including their lawyer.

Naturally, before the commercial, we had another Raconteurs performance, this time with Billy Gibbons (one of the ZZ Top guys, for those wondering). Didn't like that song again either, just the one performance by them that I liked. After the commercial, we were again tortured, this time without Billy Gibbons.

Jack Black announces the Black Eyed Peas will present the Best Rap/Hip Hop Fusion Video Award. Kyle Gass comes out and says he's with the BEPs. Jack is too famous now. He says that Jack doesn't bring the thunder. Jack says he doesn't need him and storms back to his dressing room, where Justin is installing shelves. Jack breaks down and doesn't want to host the show anymore, he just wants his friend back. Kyle enters and they make up.Then they come out to perform a song.

The Jackass Cast came out to present the Viewer's choice award. They said over 30 million people voted, which was curious as earlier it was over 40 million. Apparently they lost a few votes. But Fall Out Boy still won and they thanked their families and MTV before finally thanking the fans who votes on the award.

Queen Latifah then introduced former Vice President Al Gore. Al talked about the environment, and how the earth has changed in the last 25 years. They were plugging a website, for the MTV Generation to go to and think aobut the environment. Their generation will be the ones to find a solution for the environmental problems.

The Raconteurs sang a cute song, "internet killed the video star" which I thought was just hilarious. Jennifer Lopez presented Panic! At The Disco with the big Video of the Year award. Before they got there, some weird dude called Six came up and plugged his website because MTV didn't give him his own show. The guys in Panic then thanked a few people, but were really shocked by winning, as they didn't expect it. They said they don't have a lot of fans but they have really rabid fans.

Axl Rose then introduced the final perfomers of the night - the Killers. They closed out the show rather nicely, and did not have the sound problems that bothered earlier bands either.

Check out the full winner's list below!

Best Male Video:
James Blunt "You're Beautiful"

Best Hip Hop Video:
Black Eyed Peas "My Hump"

Best Female Video:
Kelly Clarkson "Because of You"

Best Dance Video:
Pussycat Dolls w/ Snoop "Buttons"

Best Pop Video:
Pink "Stupid Girl"

Best Rap Video:
Chamillionaire "Ridin' Dirty"

Best Direction:
Gnarls Barkley "Crazy"

Best Choreography:
Shakira and Wyclef Jean "Hips Don't Lie"

Best Special Effects:
Missy Elliott "We Run This"

Best Group Video:
All American Rejects "Move Along"

Best Editing Video:
Gnarls Barkley "Crazy"

Best Cinematography:
James Blunt "You're Beautiful"

Best Art Direction:
Red Hot Chili Peppers "Dani California"

Best New Artist:
Avenged Sevenfold "Bat Country"

Ringtone of the Year:
Fort Minor "Where'd You Go"

Best R&B Video:
Beyonce w/ Slim Thug "Check On It"

Video Vanguard:
Hype Williams

Best Rock Video:
A.F.I "Miss Murder"

Viewer's Choice Award:
Fall Out Boy "Dance Dance"

Video of the Year:
Panic! At The Disco "I Write Sins Not Tragedies"
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 Shenova ( Head Editor ) 2006-09-01 01:33:38  
She who thinks!
Edit Reaction  
"I'm starting to wonder if I'm too old to watch the VMAs anymore! "

I felt that way 20 years ago...and it hasn't improved...

 Hawke ( Guest ) 2006-09-01 02:10:30  

Edit Reaction  
For some reason, I didn't really enjoy the VMA's this year.

Well, that Sarah lady sucked @##. She couldn't get me to even smile.

I was sort of bummed that Chris Brown didn't win at least one award. That kid is super talented and very charismatic. Oh well, nothing's perfect, I guess.

Beyonce's performance was @#$%^&* awesome as usual, but not enough to make me watch to VMA's next year.
Don't mind me, I'm just a guest.

 GUEST ( Guest ) 2006-09-01 04:09:58  

Edit Reaction  
What song was playing when 50 cent and Ll cool J came out to present the award for best female artist? I can't figure it out.  
Don't mind me, I'm just a guest.

 AdamChicago ( Guest ) 2006-09-01 07:14:24  

Edit Reaction  
Umm Sarah Silverman made me laugh the whole way through! You must be to old to watch MTV.. and Im 26. I never watch her much but she did great on VMA06. The whole Lance Bass bit was great.

The Britney part that made me chuckle was "If they were up your azz you'd know"

Beyonce is the only person who worked it out. I love her new single. 
Don't mind me, I'm just a guest.

 GUEST ( Guest ) 2006-09-01 09:30:24  

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the mva sucked! 
Don't mind me, I'm just a guest.

 C-mo ( Guest ) 2006-09-01 11:30:26  

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Overall just an overhyped VMA's but Beyonce stole the show! Ring the Alarm was a showstopping performance and hopefully finally put all the critics to rest about the "Ring the Alarm" single and "B'day"! 
Don't mind me, I'm just a guest.

 shellybean 2006-09-01 15:50:36  
Beanstalk- er
Edit Reaction  
It's official...I have outgrown the VMAs. I think i will go watch repeats of American Bandstand... 
If you can't be a good example, then be a horrible warning!

 curlio ( Website Owner ) 2006-09-01 16:18:12  

Edit Reaction  
I'm not so sure it was the fact that I (we) am (are) too old. Most of the reviews I saw of it were quite... critical. It wasn't just boring and predictable for me (us) it was many others too. So I don't feel quite so old. I remember when you HAD to watch the live show of the VMAs to catch the swearing, the accidents, the OMG that wasn't planned moments. Honestly it's not worth it to stay up that late for it anymore.  

 Obsidious 2006-09-02 03:22:31  
Jedi in Drag
Edit Reaction  
These award shows are nothing but a self-congratulatory circle jerk for spoiled, pampered celebrities. Is it any wonder that the 'common folk' are beginning to care less and less each year?

Even the people who are interested in these shows appear to watch just long enough to see their favourite performer. 

 GUEST ( Guest ) 2006-09-02 19:50:33  

Edit Reaction  
The Raconteurs do not suck. Unfortunately, they were forced to cut short their performances and the sound was horrible to boot. They should have never accepted that gig. First of all, they do not fit in at all. They are a group of classy musicians and not a part of the pop genre in the least. The audience looked confused because they were not there to witness an actual rock band who draws their influences from solid rock and blues of the past.

Maybe the reason you do not like them is because you do not understand the roots of rock that they all generate from. You might just be of the pop, entertain me now, cheap thrill generation. And in my opinion, none of the bands, or acts, there could deliver even close to what the Raconteurs could if in their element.

Don't mind me, I'm just a guest.

 GUEST ( Guest ) 2006-09-03 03:57:08  

Edit Reaction  
I think it sucked letting a little girl present the award to the a7x boys and could,nt even read their name stick to films or go to school!!!!!!!.Well done a7x for leaving the room in shock that you won.It pays to say the viewers vote for this one so congrats 
Don't mind me, I'm just a guest.

 GUEST ( Guest ) 2006-09-04 11:34:18  

Edit Reaction  
yeah whut was that SONG when 50 and LL COOL J came out to present....????? 
Don't mind me, I'm just a guest.

 Freezzznnn 2006-09-05 09:50:52  

Edit Reaction  
I was at a friends over the weekend and the group of us (all 30 somethings or close enough to it) caught a few snippets from the re-run.

What happened to Jared Lehto?? Is this what happens when you break up with Cameron Diaz?? He looked terrible! The nicest thing I can say was he and Amy Lee had matching hair. Although on her it was much more appealing!


 curlio ( Website Owner ) 2006-09-05 10:27:40  

Edit Reaction  
Guest said:
yeah whut was that SONG when 50 and LL COOL J came out to present....?????
After two requests I decided to finally replay it so y'all would leave me alone. It's LL Cool J, featuring 50 Cent, Hot Rod, and Lloyd Banks "Freeze (Remix)" You can thank me now. 

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